Living Up to the Unfortunate “Club Midd” Nickname

Name Withheld at the Request of the Author

I go to one of the most fancy, expensive liberal arts colleges in the nation. With a price tag of nearly $47,000 a year, we are constantly mocked as being a country club. I resent that label, and nothing aggravates me more than those “Club Midd” t-shirts. Come on, do you really think it’s cool and funny to support the nicknaming of our prestigious institution after a vacation resort? You’re only perpetuating the stereotype and advertising to the outside world that you are proud to be spoiled.

However, having said that, I do believe that we have some sweet amenities. And as long as we are paying the $47,000 and suffering the “country club” insults, then yeah, I want to enjoy those amenities. I mean, we might as well.

So lately I find that certain areas of luxury and recreation are lacking any and all necessary equipment. For example, on a weekday afternoon, after going to my classes like a good boy, I usually head down to the gym for some basketball. Shooting hoops relaxes me and makes me feel less guilty about the fact that I don’t lift or run regularly— because, hey, at least tossing a ball into a net counts as some kind of fitness.

Yet, sorry if this comes as a shock, but I don’t own a basketball. There are a bunch in my garage at home but not here in my dorm room. There must be others like me, because there’s an equipment room behind the main desk from which students may borrow balls.

All of the basketballs in there, however, are completely deflated, old or useless. The few that are nice and new-looking are women’s balls. Come on. You’re telling me the school can’t scrounge up a couple Franklins and send some dude out to buy new balls?

Yes, I sound like a brat, but I’m still right. A portion of my $47,000 goes to paying for those “likely” prospectives to visit, and that’s fine with me. So how about taking a fraction and using it on something I’ll enjoy— new basketballs. I know it can be done. Besides, all six of the pool cues in the Grille were splintered and broken, so I would have written about that; but then I checked last night and there were six brand new, smooth sticks. Let’s see some new balls.


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